Introspection

Hopefully, a short one.

I’ve been accused of reacting quickly to situations. Mostly, this is a result of anticipating different situations and making a plan, long before anything happens.

I used to need to walk about a mile from where I parked to the office. This meant I had to carry my briefcase, with “extras”, my coffee travel cup, and my fat old self that distance. Sometimes in the rain, sometimes in the sunshine, and often in the cold and snow.

My briefcase was slung over my left shoulder, my left hand holding the strap. My right hand, held my coffee travel cup. Before I left the vehicle, I repeated, “if attacked, toss mug at attacker, draw.” and “Just drop the mug.”

I never needed to do those actions, but it meant that I had already decided what to do if needed. Preplanning and positioning yourself to have the advantage.

This required me to think about me, about how I respond, about what I would do. It is the easiest level of introspection.

Introspection becomes more difficult when you have to look at yourself, warts included, to figure out if you have done wrong. If you need to change.

If somebody says I did something wrong, I always treat it seriously. I always look to see what I did wrong and, if I was actually wrong, how to change myself to keep from making the same error.

This is difficult to perform honestly. You need to be willing to admit errors, and accept responsibility for your mistakes.

It Is His Fault

If you are not being honest with yourself, it is easy to blame others. It is his fault, not your own.

It isn’t that you didn’t study for the test, it is that he put things on the exam that he didn’t warn you about.

It isn’t that you didn’t start your project until the day it was due, it was the size of the project.

It isn’t that you said objectionable things, it was that he was mean. He wasn’t fair.

If you look at a situation where you feel like you should have succeeded, but didn’t, and you are looking at outside reasons, stop.

Look at yourself. What did you do wrong? What can you do differently.

Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you

If you look at yourself, and you believe that you didn’t make a mistake, then you can investigate outside causes.

That means investigate.

It does not mean leap to the conclusion. There are often other reasons. Look at yourself first.

When you are looking at outside forces, don’t look at the motive. Look at the actions. Solve the actions before you assume motives.

If you are told that you did something because you have impure motives, this isn’t going to accomplish anything.

Did he perform better than you did. Did she put in a great effort than you did. Did they beat you because they were better than you.

If so, be honest with yourself. Move forward, changing yourself, to do better next time.