Prepping – Sexual Assault

I don’t know if this is really a “prepping” thing, but it’s situational awareness and so I’m calling it prepping today.

Number One Rule: an armed female is a safe female. I believe with all the breath in my body that if every women carried a firearm and was well trained in its use and care, that sexual assaults would nigh on disappear. SA’ers are sorry, loser types who can’t handle real women, and coming face to face with a firearm would make the worm between their legs crawl away in horror. I continually and constantly encourage my women friends to go out, get trained, and pick a quality firearm that they can carry… and then to carry it always. I also believe that safely arming women is the best way to combat the woke shit going on right now, because while the Constitution says we’re equal, Sam Colt guarantees it.

Number Two Rule: people who sexually assault others have declared themselves dog meat, and will be treated as such. I’m not a “dog person” but if the SHTF for real, I’d be picking myself up a good quality mastiff or bulldog, and you can bet your ass I’d be sicking it on anyone who I caught doing such things (or had incontrovertible truth that they had done such things). If I catch you SA’ing someone, I will fuck you up. No, like really. I’m not good with firearms, but I’m hella good with a cast iron frying pan, and I own a ton of them. I catch you, I’ll start with your head, but I’ll end with your balls.

Number Three Rule: women (or anyone, honestly) who lie about sexual assault have proven themselves to no longer be human. And I mean that. I don’t want liars to be prosecuted for lying. I don’t want them to be prosecuted as if they had committed the assault. I want them to be executed. I am strongly of the opinion that the most dangerous thing to women out there is another woman who lies about sexual assault, because it increases the danger for ALL of us. Men and women alike.

So why are you talking about sexual assault today, Allyson?

There are several people in the ren faire community who have been accused of sexual assault. They’re all men, by the by, not that it matters. I’ve met a woman who sexually assaulted men, and I saw her in exactly the same way I saw the males. She was a cretin and she should have been burned at the stake. But I digress… These people come in three categories: known SA’ers, suspected SA’ers, and people who’ve been falsely accused or accused with no credible facts to back it up.

One of the women who had been sexually assaulted three times by different men recently spoke up in the RF community. She chose to post a picture of one of her assaulters and make the post public. And this is where we get a bit dicey. See, perp numbers one and two HAD assaulted her. She went to the police, took them to court, and they were jailed or fined or whatever, and were legally labeled assaulter. All fine and dandy. Perp number three, the one she posted the picture of? She’s “chosen” not to go to the police. And that makes me concerned.

I know it’s hard to go to court over sexual assault. I was assaulted as a teen, and I never went to the police. I was a promiscuous teen, and I knew I wouldn’t be believed (backed up later by my mother, who I told at the urging of my then-therapist, and who basically said it figured and I probably deserved it because I was such a whore and slut… thanks mom). I was 13, by the by. I was emotionally fragile, had no idea who to tell, or what to do, and I would have been eviscerated in the court system. By the time I had the personal balls to take him to court, he was already in jail for aggravated sexual assault of a minor, and was never going to see daylight again, so it didn’t matter.

This woman I mentioned, though… She knows what happens when you accuse a man of sexual assault. She’s been through it twice. And I ask myself… how do you end up putting yourself in the path of that danger a second and then A THIRD time? It took me ages to trust again. The fact that she’s gone through this umpteen times makes me consider whether she’s telling the truth this time. Honestly, it also makes me consider whether she told the truth originally… except those times she had rape kits, bruises, and once a broken arm to show for it. So I give her the benefit of the doubt. But this last one? It’s sketchy.

There are far too many women who want to cry online and NOT prosecute. I have become hated among certain groups because the first question out of my mouth is, “Did you tell the police?” If we don’t start telling the cops, if we don’t hold these people accountable for their deviant behavior, then why would they bother stopping? As Chris and I have discussed, it isn’t that “all men” are doing this stuff, it’s that we can’t tell the difference between men who are safe, and men who are not, until it’s too late. If we cry wolf even a moment too soon, we’re told we’re making it up, or imagining it, or whatever. If we wait until after, we often hear (and yes, I have *personally* heard this used both at myself, and at other women) we must have done something to provoke it.

The men I surround myself with today? I know them. I know them to their core. I put them in positions where, if they were so inclined, I would have seen those true colors before I was in too deep. Chris might call some of them “love tests,” which he despises, but it’s part of being safe. Regardless, I know that if I came home and told my men that I had been assaulted, they’d be locking and loading, one would take me to the cops or hospital as necessary, and the other would go hunting. They’d do the same for anyone, quite frankly.

But it’s taken years to trust that much. It’s taken so very long to get over the not sexual assault but horrible, abusive treatment by several boyfriends, before I learned how to vet men. I still struggle. Every argument tends to bring up past incidents in my brain, unwanted memories that bob to the surface and taunt me with the idea that this might be the moment he shows his true colors. I might know in my forebrain that it’s just squirrels, but man, it’s hard to ignore.

Chris and others have asked me before, what do I want from men in regards to this stuff? Because #notallmen and all that jazz. A single rapist can damage hundreds of women, making it seem like more men are involved than there are. So how do you, the males that I surround myself with, help out with this?

• Listen to your buddies. There’s “changing room talk” that’s bordering on dirty, bragging, and that kind of stuff, that’s sort of par for the course. But does someone take it farther than that? Or perhaps he’s the other way, ignoring and never participating in those little moments between the guys, because he knows he’s done more than they’ll ever do. Listen. Question, in a friendly way. Challenge, if you think it’s necessary.
• Talk to your sons. Yes, talk to your daughters too, but we moms do a lot of that as well. But you need to talk as men to boys/men. Induct them into changing room talk, have actual discussions about where the line sits between acceptable and too far. Discuss what to do if your date is drunk and you haven’t talked about sex beforehand. Go over how THEY can stay safe, too, from the women who will lie and talk smack because they didn’t get what they wanted. Teach them about condoms and frankly never believing a woman when she says she’s on the pill. Show them how to be responsible, honest, strong, polite men.
• If we women come to you with a story of sexual assault, figure out who’s the designated believer. Every woman needs one, someone who will be at her side even if everyone else abandons her. If we trust you enough to tell you that we’ve been SA’d, believe us (and keep that face on even if you don’t, until/unless it’s proven otherwise). I sometimes play that part, because among other things, I’m a trained minister. Even if I don’t believe, I will be the “designated hitter” for a woman who tells me she’s been assaulted. Unless there is overwhelming proof to the opposite, I will be in her corner during the entire process.
• Don’t blame her. When I say that, I mean don’t tell her she shouldn’t have been… (whatever). She knows it already, trust me. Don’t make comments to or around her about her clothing, her attitude, her walk, her talk. When things are calm and she’s had healing time, then you can bring those things up if it’s necessary. Likely, she’ll make changes on her own, though.
• Be honest with other men. Let them know exactly what kind of lynch mob is going to happen to a man in your friends group who turns out to be a predator. Go into detail. Be blunt. And stand by it.
• Encourage your women (daughters, mothers, wives, sisters, etc) to get trained, and then to carry.

While you’re doing all that, I’m working on teaching the women in my circles not to be prey. Don’t walk or talk like prey. Carry, and do so proudly and competently. Be smart. Don’t walk city streets at night alone. Have known check in times with friends and/or family. If you have to be in a situation where things aren’t optimal, put the “find me” thingie on your phone so someone knows where you are at any given moment. Be aware, because being engrossed in your phone or with your nails or your latte is one way of putting yourself in harm’s way.

And if the SHTF? There are many of us who will be armed, and who will fuck shit up if men start doing bad things. It always makes me laugh when leftists talk about southern women being so subservient… I’m like, have you MET those women? They carry long rifles in their fucking purses and have better draw times than their husband. They’re not subservient, they’re respectful.

Ally out.