Prepping – Saying NO.

We can talk about stocking up on mashed potatoes, learning how to make fires with a flint and steel, or being practiced at sewing our own clothes. They’re all really useful skills. But the one that’s going to get us, every single one of us (and sorry, but those of you who are loud and insistent about how it won’t be you, you’re the first to fall), is the lack of practice with the word “NO.”

But what do you mean, Allyson? We say no all the damn time. We’re great at telling the in-laws to fuck off, and the kids to get out of our hair. Each one of us has told a spouse no about a big household buy. We know how to say no!

The thing is, you don’t. I don’t. None of us do. And we need to get that through our thick, numskull brains. Like… right now.

If the shit ever really and truly hits the fan, “no” is going to be an important word. You’re going to have to say it. More importantly, you’re going to have to know WHEN to say it. And therein lies the problem. How do you determine who is good at what they do, and who is lying? How do you know a raider from a person who might benefit your survival?

There are people who I thought would “for sure” be in my survival group. Then the pandemic hit. Guess what? They’re out. I watched them do risky, stupid things, and in some cases, follow ridiculous orders that had no rhyme or reason. So they’re out. The pandemic changed the landscape of my apocalypse team in huge ways.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned how to say no in a lot of different situations. I’ve always been able to say no to the kids or my life partners, when it’s necessary. No, we don’t have money to buy junk food. No we don’t have any junk food. No, we’re not getting any junk food. No, you may not borrow the car. No, you can’t buy that motorcycle. No. That’s easy.

I’ve also learned how to say no to people on the internet. That one was surprisingly difficult. No, I don’t want to listen to your brand of religion. No, I don’t want to listen to your brand of politics. No, I don’t want to listen to your excuse for not doing any research before reposting that bullshit meme. No, I will not be treated that way by anyone.

But consider these scenarios, in a SHTF situation:

1. You’re safely in your home/bunker/hideout and have enough food to last for as long as you need. You’ve over-prepared for the situation, and you know that the food you have is going to last much longer than the current emergency, even though it’s a LONG TERM emergency. You have your spouse(s), your kid(s), your animals, and you’re settling in nicely. Then little Billy asks you, “Dad, can we have Lance join us? His parents never took care of him before the emergency, so I know they aren’t now. And they abused him. He could be useful. He can help out. He can lift things, Dad. Please?” Ah yes, Lance. Good kid. You feel for the kid. He’s sweet, and he was in your son’s Boy Scout troop. Yeah, his parents are batshit crazy and abuse him. The problem isn’t Lance, though. You’d like to take Lance in. He’d make a good “spare kid” and would pull his own weight. The problem is his batshit crazy parents, and his grandparents, and anyone else who comes along with that type of crazy. So what do you do? Do you save the kid who could truly make a difference, knowing his own depraved parents would probably let him starve, but then deal with the aftermath of batshit crazy people making accusations about you? Or do you sit quietly and tell your son you’re sorry, but you can’t help Lance?
2. Same general set-up as above, but this time a Raider group introduces themselves to you at the local watering hole. They make it clear that they’re aware you’re very well fed for someone starving to death in their bunker/house/whatever. Therefore you either know what you’re doing, or you’re stealing from others. Doesn’t matter which, to them. They decide to offer you membership in their group. They don’t seem quite willing to take no as an answer. Saying yes could endanger your family. Saying no will almost certainly endanger you and possibly your family.
3. You’re stocked up with food, but medical supplies have been used up way faster than you expected. You have enough, but barely, and you must ration. Someone you’ve been working with, forming a tentative alliance with, is injured. They’re also out of medical supplies. They’re not a bad person, and you’ve formed a decent team, but you barely have enough supplies to ride out your own medical emergencies. Helping them strengthens your team, because in a SHTF situation, no man’s an island and working together makes you stronger. Not helping them means you have enough medical supplies to make it through for your own family.
4. One of your kids has gotten into your stash (of alcohol/medical drugs/whatever) and gotten themselves addicted. You’ve cut them off so as to preserve your necessary stash. Now they’re becoming unbearable, and it’s not just the physical withdrawal. You were prepared to deal with sweats, jerks, maybe even seizures, but not the anger and sullenness. This is your flesh and blood. You love them, even if you don’t really like them right this second. And they’ve always been a part of your emergency survival team. Keeping them home/with you puts the whole family in danger. Kicking them out means they might lead in raiders or unwanted government in retaliation.

These are just off the top of my head, stuff I’ve thought about and how I’d deal with it. You can’t prep for everything, because the world will just throw something else novel at you. All you can do is practice and keep in mind that chaos is going to prevail most times. Have you given stuff like this a thought? It’s worth putting yourself into someone else’s shoes. There are obvious ones (a small child needs your water, do you give them some? etc) but those are easy to prepare for. Strain your brain. It’s the only way to truly be PREPARED.