My kid has been harassing me to go to a friend’s wedding at an event this fall. I didn’t want to go to the event, but I did want to go to the wedding. These are friends who showed up to their first event and had a catastrophic failure with their food, and ended up at a 4 day event with nothing to eat but nuts. My household “rescued” them, fed them, loved them. They, in turn, adopted my kid (they’re only a couple of years older than my kid, though at the time they were young adults working full time and mine was still in high school). I’ve always been proud of that, the concept of being there to help and offer a hand up to people.
Now, those people are definitely on the Left. But they were, I thought, good people. And on one level they are. They do help others, support people down on their luck, and pass along the help we gave to them. But they are not the type of good people I thought they were.
Today, my very disturbed (adult) kid came to me and said that they’d spoken to those people… and that they didn’t want me at their wedding. I was too extreme. Apparently, when I “supported Elon Musk doing a Nazi salute” they were all done with me, and deleted me. Kid is gutted, apologetic, unsure of what to do.
I’d assumed they’d stopped following me. I’ve unfollowed a few people on social media that I’m still very good friends with. Sometimes, your religion or your politics or some other belief is just too much, and you don’t want to see it. You unfollow them but remain friends, as they say on Facebook. That way, I don’t have to read their posts about their parakeet, their love of Kamala Harris, or their hatred of their job. Or whatever it is I’m tired of seeing. Sometimes I “snooze” people, and sometimes I unfollow them. I VERY rarely unfriend someone, though. I actually want to know the other side of things, and seek out diverse input about various things. To me, that’s vital if you want to be good at … well, pretty much anything.
In any case, I knew they were very Left, and had assumed I’d been unfollowed, just as I’d unfollowed them. No harm, no foul. Despite the mismatch of political beliefs (and I can’t say opposite, because there are still things I heartily agree with them on), I’d always gotten along with them in person. They decided no.
These are people who know me to be kind, helpful, and generous with my time, my resources, and my knowledge. They know all my various niches and labels. But they were so offended that I had a thought opposite to their political ideology, that they had to not only not read my stuff (understandable) but had to remove themselves from me entirely. Online, offline, whatever, they don’t want anything to do with me.
Once more, I find myself disappointed, in people I considered friends, and in myself. Perhaps it’s the sting of the rejection, but I ask myself, was I so poor a judge of character? Again, I haven’t changed. My beliefs are still the same. Some of my opinions have changed because I’ve learned more and educated myself on subjects, but my morals and ethics are still the same.
The thing is, I’m sure they think the same thing. I’m absolutely certain that they were concerned for my kid, worried about her having a parent who thinks like I do. And that concern is likely genuine. But how am I supposed to trust in that again? It makes me ill and I really just don’t know what to think about the whole thing.
I’m disappointed in them. They accepted my hospitality when it suited them, but turned their back the moment it wasn’t all unicorn farts and rainbows. And that hurts.
My (former) best friend walked away because of my politics. That hurt more than I can describe. And you know what? If she showed up on my doorstep tomorrow, asking for help, I would help her. That’s me. That’s what I do.
But man, my patience is starting to wear awful thin.
I can’t write more about this right now. I’m too raw and angry and frustrated. And I’m too damn hot, because the lowest temperature my room has been at in 48 hours is 82*F.
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