FBEL – Charlie’s Voice

I don’t know how much I can speak “from behind enemy lines” at this point. I’m no longer there. As of this week, I’ve pretty much slammed the door shut on the faces of those who would like to see me dead or silenced or have my rights ripped from me at gunpoint. The scales have fallen from my eyes, and all that crap. I’ve also stood up, and for those who ask, I’m no longer hedging about my political stance.

I am not “announcing” that I’m conservative. That’s for a few reasons. First and foremost, politics is not my main pursuit in life. In that, I am definitely NOT Charlie. I write cookbooks, vampire novels, and fantasy stuff. I don’t want to make a career out of political writing or talk. That’s not where I’m called, and I know Charlie would understand that you have to follow your own calling, not someone else’s. On the other hand, I write here, and it’s very important to me, and so I also have to follow Charlie’s lead in my style of communication. Second, I’ve never liked people who led conversations with, “I’m a liberal” or “I’m gay.” Good for you Karen, whatever. I want to know WHO you are, not what you are. Therefore, it would be disingenuous for me to lead in a similar way.

However, I am also not hiding anymore. I posted stuff about Charlie. I have made it clear that if people think bullets are a good answer to words, I will both report them to the authorities, and block them. I don’t need that kind of crap in my life. So it’s becoming obvious, at least from a leftist viewpoint, that I am indeed conservative.

I maintain… only in a crazy world would I be considered conservative. I’m polyamorous, pansexual, kinky, pagan… these are not hallmarks of conservatism. I do believe in being fiscally conservative, though, along with smaller government (possibly moreso than many of you reading this), traditional values (to a point… I don’t care who makes up a family, so long as there are at least two adults involved in every child’s life, and if they’re same sex, no biggie, and if there’s 3 or more, no biggie, etc), and individual liberty (your right to freedom ends at my nose, and vice versa). There are some points I’ve always been conservative about, at least since I became a functioning adult (which didn’t happen until I was in my 30s, but there you go). Other things I cling to, because they feel right to me, and they meet my spiritual and religious morals and ethics.

Still, I find myself asking all the time now, what would Charlie say?

I only heard that Charlie was coming to NH the day before he was assassinated. I hadn’t even had time to ask Chris if he wanted to go with me, when I heard the news. This would have been the first Conservative event I had attended, and I desperately wanted to go. While many of Charlie’s events are going to happen anyhow, with his friends and family filling in for him as best they can, it doesn’t seem like the NH event is happening. I am disappointed, because I still wanted to go.

I had intended asking Charlie to speak on one of two topics. First, on abortion. My belief is that, while a fetus is a baby and a baby not yet born is a fetus, it’s all a life, yes from the moment of conception. Abortion does, indeed, kill a child. But I stand firm in the belief that in some situations, the death of the child is necessary to the life of the mother (and not just in medical emergency situations, either). I also believe there must be an upper limit to that death of the child, and that it should be late enough that the average woman would be aware she was pregnant, but early enough that major developmental milestones are not yet met. In other words, if you wish to kill your child, it should be early, before it has enough brain cells to understand. It should include an offer of therapy for the mother and for the mother’s partner if he is about. No mandate (I’m learning, slowly, that mandates are very bad), but a strong suggestion that therapy can help people deal with it and understand it. And we need to stop couching abortion in pretty words. Say what it is. And there is a very emotional part of me that stands, however illogically, on the point that if a family member impregnates a young girl in their care, that she should be permitted to abort that child at any point in the pregnancy. And children deemed too tiny to be able to carry a life in them should be afforded that as well, and as early as possible. I know there are 11 and 12 year olds who have their periods, but that doesn’t mean their bodies are ready to give birth. So yeah, I have some differences from Charlie there, but I haven’t heard anyone he talked to that was willing to admit that abortion was murder.

Second, on marijuana. Charlie was 100% against legalizing pot, and I’m 100% for legalizing it and making it available to all consenting adults. Again, I’ve heard Charlie talk about pot use and how it messes with kids (which I agree with; studies are showing it has negative impact on young brains), and how it’s psychoactive and should be banned. I believe that if you’re going to have legal cigarettes and legal booze, then it’s pretty shitty to criminalize pot. I’ve watched studies on pot for about 40 years now, and while I have seen some recent ones that show it causes real and measurable problems in developing brains (ie brains under the age of 25, basically), it doesn’t seem to do as much bad to the human adult body as alcohol or cigarettes. I’ve always said it’s hypocritical. I see medical uses for pot that are wonderful, especially for people who experience chronic pain or have eating disorders where they don’t eat enough. Pot is not an opioid, and is a lot cheaper to get, and is not physically addictive (ie in the same category as alcohol, NOT in the same category as cigarettes). I wish NH legalized pot, because with the pain I experience, a tiny bit of pot (even with some possible negative side effects) would be so much less harsh on my body than the massive doses of ibuprofin I’m currently on. I want the choice to pick the lesser of the two evils.

I wanted to hear Charlie talk about these things. When I present my arguments on them, I don’t try to obfuscate or hide the negative parts of the topic. I never saw Charlie do that. He hit things straight on, and was honest and open about it. So as I go through life now, I try to remember to do the same. I wish I could have heard his responses. I’m absolutely certain I would have learned things about my chosen topics. And more than that… I know he wouldn’t have belittled me (which has happened a few times, unfortunately) or gotten angry with me.

That’s what I don’t think the left has figured out. They didn’t get rid of a great leader. They got rid of our moderate. They got rid of the only really vocal guy calling for conversation rather than fights. The only thing holding back a good portion of the conservatives right now is the knowledge that Charlie would have wanted us to use our words. And we’re mightily trying to do so.

So I will try and make FBEL a bit more Charlie in nature, going forward. Wish me luck…