I don’t know how much I can speak “from behind enemy lines” at this point. I’m no longer there. As of this week, I’ve pretty much slammed the door shut on the faces of those who would like to see me dead or silenced or have my rights ripped from me at gunpoint. The scales have fallen from my eyes, and all that crap. I’ve also stood up, and for those who ask, I’m no longer hedging about my political stance.
I am not “announcing” that I’m conservative. That’s for a few reasons. First and foremost, politics is not my main pursuit in life. In that, I am definitely NOT Charlie. I write cookbooks, vampire novels, and fantasy stuff. I don’t want to make a career out of political writing or talk. That’s not where I’m called, and I know Charlie would understand that you have to follow your own calling, not someone else’s. On the other hand, I write here, and it’s very important to me, and so I also have to follow Charlie’s lead in my style of communication. Second, I’ve never liked people who led conversations with, “I’m a liberal” or “I’m gay.” Good for you Karen, whatever. I want to know WHO you are, not what you are. Therefore, it would be disingenuous for me to lead in a similar way.
However, I am also not hiding anymore. I posted stuff about Charlie. I have made it clear that if people think bullets are a good answer to words, I will both report them to the authorities, and block them. I don’t need that kind of crap in my life. So it’s becoming obvious, at least from a leftist viewpoint, that I am indeed conservative.
I maintain… only in a crazy world would I be considered conservative. I’m polyamorous, pansexual, kinky, pagan… these are not hallmarks of conservatism. I do believe in being fiscally conservative, though, along with smaller government (possibly moreso than many of you reading this), traditional values (to a point… I don’t care who makes up a family, so long as there are at least two adults involved in every child’s life, and if they’re same sex, no biggie, and if there’s 3 or more, no biggie, etc), and individual liberty (your right to freedom ends at my nose, and vice versa). There are some points I’ve always been conservative about, at least since I became a functioning adult (which didn’t happen until I was in my 30s, but there you go). Other things I cling to, because they feel right to me, and they meet my spiritual and religious morals and ethics.
Still, I find myself asking all the time now, what would Charlie say?
I only heard that Charlie was coming to NH the day before he was assassinated. I hadn’t even had time to ask Chris if he wanted to go with me, when I heard the news. This would have been the first Conservative event I had attended, and I desperately wanted to go. While many of Charlie’s events are going to happen anyhow, with his friends and family filling in for him as best they can, it doesn’t seem like the NH event is happening. I am disappointed, because I still wanted to go.
I had intended asking Charlie to speak on one of two topics. First, on abortion. My belief is that, while a fetus is a baby and a baby not yet born is a fetus, it’s all a life, yes from the moment of conception. Abortion does, indeed, kill a child. But I stand firm in the belief that in some situations, the death of the child is necessary to the life of the mother (and not just in medical emergency situations, either). I also believe there must be an upper limit to that death of the child, and that it should be late enough that the average woman would be aware she was pregnant, but early enough that major developmental milestones are not yet met. In other words, if you wish to kill your child, it should be early, before it has enough brain cells to understand. It should include an offer of therapy for the mother and for the mother’s partner if he is about. No mandate (I’m learning, slowly, that mandates are very bad), but a strong suggestion that therapy can help people deal with it and understand it. And we need to stop couching abortion in pretty words. Say what it is. And there is a very emotional part of me that stands, however illogically, on the point that if a family member impregnates a young girl in their care, that she should be permitted to abort that child at any point in the pregnancy. And children deemed too tiny to be able to carry a life in them should be afforded that as well, and as early as possible. I know there are 11 and 12 year olds who have their periods, but that doesn’t mean their bodies are ready to give birth. So yeah, I have some differences from Charlie there, but I haven’t heard anyone he talked to that was willing to admit that abortion was murder.
Second, on marijuana. Charlie was 100% against legalizing pot, and I’m 100% for legalizing it and making it available to all consenting adults. Again, I’ve heard Charlie talk about pot use and how it messes with kids (which I agree with; studies are showing it has negative impact on young brains), and how it’s psychoactive and should be banned. I believe that if you’re going to have legal cigarettes and legal booze, then it’s pretty shitty to criminalize pot. I’ve watched studies on pot for about 40 years now, and while I have seen some recent ones that show it causes real and measurable problems in developing brains (ie brains under the age of 25, basically), it doesn’t seem to do as much bad to the human adult body as alcohol or cigarettes. I’ve always said it’s hypocritical. I see medical uses for pot that are wonderful, especially for people who experience chronic pain or have eating disorders where they don’t eat enough. Pot is not an opioid, and is a lot cheaper to get, and is not physically addictive (ie in the same category as alcohol, NOT in the same category as cigarettes). I wish NH legalized pot, because with the pain I experience, a tiny bit of pot (even with some possible negative side effects) would be so much less harsh on my body than the massive doses of ibuprofin I’m currently on. I want the choice to pick the lesser of the two evils.
I wanted to hear Charlie talk about these things. When I present my arguments on them, I don’t try to obfuscate or hide the negative parts of the topic. I never saw Charlie do that. He hit things straight on, and was honest and open about it. So as I go through life now, I try to remember to do the same. I wish I could have heard his responses. I’m absolutely certain I would have learned things about my chosen topics. And more than that… I know he wouldn’t have belittled me (which has happened a few times, unfortunately) or gotten angry with me.
That’s what I don’t think the left has figured out. They didn’t get rid of a great leader. They got rid of our moderate. They got rid of the only really vocal guy calling for conversation rather than fights. The only thing holding back a good portion of the conservatives right now is the knowledge that Charlie would have wanted us to use our words. And we’re mightily trying to do so.
So I will try and make FBEL a bit more Charlie in nature, going forward. Wish me luck…
Political labels are useless as well as adherence to dogma as the absolute truth.
Think in terms of liberty vs. tyranny and you are much more correct.
I heard someone recently say this was no longer right versus left, it was right versus wrong. I tend to agree. I have personally seen enough people break with the group-think of the Dems that I have some hope.
“I am not “announcing” that I’m conservative.”
What is a conservative? You say that almost as if being a conservative requires you to adhere to a set of rules. That is not what conservatism is about. You can be a conservative while agreeing with only a handful of ideals promoted by other conservatives.
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“…only in a crazy world would I be considered conservative. I’m polyamorous, pansexual, kinky, pagan… these are not hallmarks of conservatism.”
Not true at all. There is a misconception I have observed from the left. It is that conservatives do not like (or outright hate) those things because they do not celebrate them. I often say the opposite of racism is apathy. Conservatives just do not care. (For the most part.) I am very right wing (and moving further right as I age), but I also have lots of “labels” in my circle of friends and family, and I do not care.
That you do not care either places you on the conservative side. More of a classic liberal than a modern leftist liberal.
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And, what you said about Charlie, and the open dialog he sought is spot on. He did not waver from his convictions, but was able to listen to a differing stance. Too many people cannot do that. They internalize their position, and make it a part of their essence. Disputing that position is a direct attack on their very being.
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Final point. Charlie’s death created thousands of Charlies. Since his assassination, there have been over 30,000 requests to start Turning Point chapters across the nation. You are going to emulate him, and so will tens of thousands of other people.
I do not have to wish you luck. You are already doing it.
You say: “What is a conservative? You say that almost as if being a conservative requires you to adhere to a set of rules. That is not what conservatism is about. You can be a conservative while agreeing with only a handful of ideals promoted by other conservatives.”
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It’s more that I’m not going out of my way to “make it obvious” because I don’t generally talk politics in public. That’s not because I’m afraid or dissuaded to do so, but just because I have other stuff to talk about. It’s sort of like most people in the neighborhood now get the general gist that we’re polyamorous… but not because we told them. We lived quietly, loved, cared for our lawn, took out the garbage, shared soccer/swim team/baseball rides with other parents. In that time, a handful of people have seen one partner kiss me, and then another partner kiss me. And one partner kiss another woman. They eventually came to notice it, but since we don’t do anything in public that wouldn’t be done by “normal” people, it’s never been an issue. And that’s kind of my gold standard: would a “normal” person say/do this? If so, then I go ahead and do it. If not, I think several times over before doing or not doing, as appropriate. But I get what you’re saying, too.
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I agree I’m more classic liberal. I suppose if I’m pushed, I say I’m a neo-conservative. But the bottom line is, I’m human and I’ve never been inclined to vote along a party line. I vote for the person or group that I think will do the best for the people they’re representing (depending on the level they’re at). I voted Libertarian for a LONG time. Still would, if they’d run someone decent, but they aren’t so it’s moot. I’ve also voted against someone a few times, rather than voting for, but it is what it is. I was terrified during Trump 1.0, that I was going to see bad things happening. They didn’t. I was relieved for Trump 2.0. A couple of minor things concern me, but certainly none of those concerns rise to the level of my concerns about Harris, Biden, Obama, etc.
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As for speaking as Charlie, I am going to do my best. Part of what drew me to him initially was that he spoke in the way I wanted to speak, anyhow. I don’t emulate his “voice” (as in I use my own writer voice when I’m writing), but I do want to speak openly, calmly, and with the ability to admit when I’m not knowledgeable about something. I want to speak with kindness, true curiosity, and personal conviction. I’ve always attempted to do those things, but now it’s more important than ever.
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You talk about how some people internalize their position, and while I did do that to a certain extent, it’s not something I’ve been big on for many years. I change, and I’m aware of that. I know there are lots of things I don’t know squat about, and I am going to have to adjust my beliefs and positions based upon my knowledge at any given time. And having just moved “more right” on the current scale, I’m upended. I don’t have a cemented position to internalize. Perhaps that makes me a good voice for Charlie. I guess we’ll see.
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I follow Turning Point on FB, along with the main MAGA group. Lots of people asked in a sort of polite, general way if any of us were going to form chapters. I explained that I was going to do my best to give Charlie a voice… but that I couldn’t join Turning Point because I wasn’t Christian, and I wouldn’t dishonor Charlie’s memory in that way. I can speak truth without belonging to Turning Point. A few people didn’t understand, but the organizer types were gracious about it.
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I’ve been giving a tiny bit of consideration to creating a pagan or non-Christian version of Turning Point for those of us who want to speak but don’t follow Charlie’s particular model of faith. I believe in the IMPORTANCE of faith, but not so much that someone has to worship a particular god to have it. “Turning Wheel” maybe, to reference both Charlie’s organization and the idea of paganism being a belief of repeating cycles that require us to educate ourselves. I dunno. Lot of work, with time I don’t have. But I do like the idea. Maybe I can drop it into some laps.
I would absolutely support a secular version of Turning Point. And, given there have been tens of thousands of applications to start Turning Point chapters (last I saw it was over 30K) since Charlie was killed, I see a market. Not everyone, even some Christians are comfortable hearing someone use their faith as a justification for their position in a debate. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I suspect Charlie may have lost a few people by doing so.
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Keep it secular, or keep it religion non-specific, and you may be onto something.
That’s what I don’t think the left has figured out. They didn’t get rid of a great leader. They got rid of our moderate.
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More to the point, they got rid of our moderator. Like you said, they got rid of the guy who wanted conversations, not fights. The guy who did everything in his power to be civil and make sure everyone gets their say before responding. They got rid of the pressure release valve that kept the political pressure cooker talking instead of exploding into violence.
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I truly can’t decide if the Left feared Charlie because he was so effective at speaking, or hated him for his values, or just wants to provoke an actual fight. In reality, it’s probably a combination of all three, but they do seem to pick targets that would provoke the biggest response, so that last one is a real concern to me.
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As has been pointed out: Peace requires all parties to be committed to peace, but War needs only one. It doesn’t matter how committed to peace and civility we are, if a few folks on the either side want a fight, there will be fighting. Right now it feels like the Left especially is itching for violence — it would be dishonest of me to say the first blow couldn’t come from the Right, but the Left seems particularly keen on kicking the hornets’ nest. (And between the various public/mass shootings, including Charlie Kirk’s assassination, one could say the hornets’ nest is good and kicked, and it’s amazing we’re still as civil as we are.)
You said, “I truly can’t decide if the Left feared Charlie because he was so effective at speaking, or hated him for his values, or just wants to provoke an actual fight. In reality, it’s probably a combination of all three, but they do seem to pick targets that would provoke the biggest response, so that last one is a real concern to me.”
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I don’t honestly think that they purposefully created this shooter (I refuse to give it a name). I think it’s a very large unintended consequence of their rhetoric. As you know, I spend an awful lot of time around people who are far left. Most of them aren’t BAD people, per se. They are uneducated about political things. They believe things written in the news (online and off) without questioning or verifying. And they have been taught and perhaps trained to feel before thinking. While there may be a handful (even a large handful) of folk at the top who are manipulating the rest of the left, I really believe most of them are like I used to be: uninterested in politics, and then believing what they’re told because it seems reasonable.
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I come back to the idea that it’s unreasonable to believe that every single news outlet is lying to you. It is just not statistically probable. But we know the truth, because we’ve either witnessed it, have indisputable proof of it, or we’ve researched it enough to have proven it to ourselves. You can’t teach that to someone else. Trust me, I know. Chris tried to teach me that for years. Even as someone who regularly questions themselves, I didn’t believe until I started writing here, and had to do my own research.
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That’s how you get to the majority of the left, by the by. Ask them questions in a gentle enough way that it encourages them to go get the answers for themselves. It can’t be a full-on challenge, because they’ll just loop back to their programming. What Chris did for me was ask me to write my own understanding of several things, to share with y’all. As I researched for that, because as a writer I have to have my citations straight, I learned the truth. It still took me quite a while to believe it.
I echo the position that conservatives just don’t care about how people run their personal lives. Keep your nose out of my personal business and I’ll keep mine out of yours.
To my mind the major difference between conservatives and liberals (well, really leftists) is conservatives focus on individual rights and individual responsibilities, while the leftists are all about group rights and group responsibilities (or the avoidance thereof).
So a conservative doesn’t care, because it’s your individual decision, not his. A leftist can’t not care, in fact if you don’t conform to his position it’s a direct challenge to the hive mind he’s part of. Nothing can exist outside of the group, so anything that is outside must be wrong/evil/unthinkable. Think of the Borg, it’s scary close to the way they act.
We see Charlie reaching out to build bridges and understanding, they see an unthinkable attack that challenges the very underpinnings of their world.
I have not a clue how we can deal with these true believers, but hopefully like Charlie we can make some headway with those not fully subsumed yet.
My only problem with “just don’t care” comes down to a couple of very personal experiences. When I lived on the west coast as a young adult, I was running a small pagan group. We weren’t big enough to be in the news, and we weren’t making any political waves or anything like that. We were just a group of 8, worshiping generally in private, and occasionally in a pagan bookstore after closing. For that, my boyfriend of the time and I had burning crosses erected on our front lawn, and one time someone smashed our front window with rocks that had Bible verses tied onto them. The cops were unable to find the perpetrators, of course. I was also “exorcised” in a restaurant one time, for the “crime” of having a half inch button on my purse that read, “The Goddess is pro-choice.” That one, I can see as being I made a public statement, even if it was tiny, but speaking in tongues over me as I attempted to eat my tiramisu was… upsetting.
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Those people cared enough to do damage to my home, and to attempt to do damage to me. It cemented my “understanding” of people on the conservative side for a very long time.