I was scanning TikTok when Charlie Kirk was shot. One of my conservative ladies gave out the news on an unexpected “live” thingie, and I went looking, panicking. Yep, it’s real. Damn. God damn. God FUCKING damn!

My lizard brain is currently doing shots of imaginary coke right now, hopping itself up to keep me aware of everything going on around me. I keep seeing things out of the corner of my eye and it turns out to be dust motes. I’m trying not to shut myself down right now, but also not to get so caught up that I lose track of life.

Why’s this under “prepping” today? Well, we need to be aware that when violence happens, we tend to REact. And frankly, I don’t believe we (and when I say “we” right now, I mean everyone who isn’t an absolute nut job, regardless of political stance) can afford to react. Act, yes. React, no. Reaction is instant. It’s brought about by the aforementioned lizard brain. It engages our “fight or flight” mode, and if we are reacting, we are not thinking.

When we’re in a personal emergency, that’s a good thing. It gets the adrenaline going, gets you up and moving, and might save your life. But with something like this, it’s just not useful. It hypes us up with nowhere to go. And while I trust the people I generally hang out with to be “head on a swivel” without being nut jobs, I don’t trust everyone else. I know too many on the Left who are excited and happy over this, and too many on the Right who have been itching for an excuse and who are using Kirk’s shooting as that excuse and damn the realities. NONE of it is good. Not one damn motherfucking bit of it.

I have enough EMT training to know that he wasn’t going to survive that shot. He lost so much blood in that initial burst that there was simply no way. The second hint was that his team picked him up and moved him. They don’t do that if there’s a chance he’ll survive; instead they form a shield wall and let the EMT do their work. There are lots of rumors out there (see my previous post on rumors) regarding what happened, who did it, and the reasoning behind the assassination. Like Chris, I’m waiting. I need to hear good, quality information from reliable sources, as difficult as that may be.

I will tell you what I think happened. I think a nutjob (very possibly with a septum ring and ties to the Left, but no guarantees) decided that the First Amendment was not worth protecting, and decided to make Charlie a signpost about what happens to people who don’t lap up the narrative from the Left’s breast. I think it was meant to do a few things. First and foremost, I believe it was meant to enrage the Right and hopefully spur people into doing stupid things (those REactions). Second, it took out someone who was effectively teaching young adults to think for themselves (because Charlie always listened to people and encouraged them to support their points). Third, it has been done in a way that makes it a chilling effect.

I’m struggling. I have to make decisions, because I am absolutely horrified that some people I am purportedly friends with were happy about this assassination. Some were deleted (from social media, but also from phone and email and all other contacts) right after I saw posts by them. Others said things I found rude, but not celebratory. I’m trying to be the bigger person and give them the benefit of the doubt. I suspect I will be losing a lot of acquaintances over the next few weeks.

Part of me wants to curl up in a ball and hide. Not to be tooting my own horn, but I write well and speak well, too. What if I turn out to be some sort of target? As was just proven, it only takes one nutter and one shot to fuck up a person’s life permanently. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up, hide in my room, and write my cookbooks.

But … that isn’t what Charlie would want. He’d want us all to stand up, tall and proud, and speak our truth. He’d want us to be honest, blunt, but not overly rude. I know, because that’s what he’s been doing, for years. I watched him laughing at himself (in the good way) when he saw “his” South Park episode. I’ve seen him cry on air before, over emotional things, a wonderful example to show young people that men can and do cry.

Because he talked to pretty much anyone, I listened to a lot of his campus talks and other debates. I learned from what he had to say. I learned not only that I agreed with him on many things, but that I disagreed on other things and I had a lot to learn about how to defend my points. I learned more about listening to people from him than I’m comfortable admitting. Even with people he vehemently disagreed with, he generally listened carefully and attentively. He would shush the crowd if they tried to silence someone. I respect that.

Charlie Kirk was a champion of free speech. There’s a reason that’s part of the First Amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. (The Constitution Center)

Wednesday, there were People assembled at UVU, enjoying their right to freedom of speech and assembly. Some 3000 people were already there, despite the event not having started. About a thousand people bothered to sign a petition saying they didn’t want Charlie there, via the campus petition system (there’s no public availability of that petition), and via Change.org. These activists claim that their right to a “peaceful campus” is more important than the First Amendment of the Constitution. In their petition, they talk about the “harm” being done by Charlie.

And then I hold up the assassination of a man who did nothing but talk. Maybe he didn’t talk the way some people liked, but that’s life. He never raised a hand to anyone. He never yelled at anyone, that I’m aware of. I don’t think he ever raised his voice, other than to shush an audience and let someone speak. He was good at what he did. He was peaceful. But his “hateful words” apparently  made it perfectly okay to assassinate him in cold blood, in front of thousands of students who could have gotten caught in the crossfire.

I’m beginning to think that we need a new class in schools, starting when the kids are very young (with age appropriate topics of course). The class should involve listening to and learning how to listen to and comment appropriately on subjects that the students disagree with. Young adults today want everything handed to them. They seem, en mass, to believe that their existence is what warrants them being paid exorbitant amounts for poor work. They don’t know how to work toward a goal with a piercing focus, even when it means working more than 8 hours a day. And they don’t know how to listen.

I’m rambling and I need to stop. Charlie was one of the good guys. Where Ben Shapiro often turns me off with his sardonic way of saying things, Charlie always seemed to give you the impression that he did care what you said, even if he disagreed. Maybe even especially if he disagreed. The world is a lesser place today.

May the Lord, Jesus Christ, carry Charlie’s soul to heaven on wings of peace. May the seeds of education and critical thinking he planted in life, flourish in his death. May his blood be enough to refresh the Tree of Liberty, that no one else might need die. And may the Lord have patience and kindness and healing for Charlie’s wife and children, who must be devastated by his untimely death. Amen.

By Allyson

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