You can take that title however you like. When I first wrote it, I was thinking of the four legged kind of beastie that sneaks in and eats your broccoli while you’re sleeping. However, if we’re talking prepping, there’s a legitimate chance that the critter in your garden is two legged and armed. So let’s unpack that!
Regular Critters
The most common form of problem in your garden is likely to be pests. These include, but are not limited to, ants, roaches, moths, hornworms, tent caterpillars, aphids, and bunches of other multi-legged beasties, as well as mice, voles, moles, possums, raccoons, deer, porcupines, and other wild and domestic animals. A cat that digs up your kitchen garden in order to use it as an outdoor toilet is just as destructive as the raccoon that takes out whole plants.
Poison is one method of getting rid of pests. It’s not a method I recommend, only because I know that poison can be transferred from its intended victim (the mouse or raccoon) to unintended victims such as owls (who keep the pests down naturally and should be cared for and preserved) and local cats and dogs (who sometimes do eat pests outdoors). There’s also a possibility that vegetables covered in poison might be transferred to deer that we harvest later for our own eating pleasure, and that would be a Very Bad Thing, indeed. When it comes to mice in winter, I occasionally lift this personal ban, only because I dislike mouse poop in my kitchen more than I dislike the thought of accidentally killing an owl.
Traps are another method, and while they do work, they’re a LOT of work. You can dead-trap or live-trap, but regardless, you have to deal with what’s in the trap on a daily basis. Depending on what you’ve caught, it can be problematic. Consider the person who accidentally captures a skunk in a “have a heart” trap, and then has to figure out what to do with the stinky critter. When it comes to live traps, again, I really don’t recommend it. When you unload your traps, your victims have the ability to just wander home and do more destruction.
Deterrence is the best method of protecting your crops, in my very strong opinion. The number of ways you can deter animals is countless, and best, it can work on two legged animals as well. Deer are the main culprits in my garden, along with skunks and raccoons. All three respond to a similar method, I’ve found, and I discovered it by accident. Deer can jump fences, and will to get at prime veggies. However, they’re also skittish and won’t get into something they can’t get out of. You can put up two fences, close enough together that a deer can’t safely jump in between them and won’t try to go over both at the same time. This can work on most animals, though they can be dug under. It’s a ton of work, however. I had put up a fence, but storms took it down. The deer, it turns out, can’t really see the chicken wire when it’s laid out on the grass. When they can’t find a way around it, and can’t determine how deep it is, they eventually just give up and go for easier targets. With a safe forest full of delicious grub they can eat with impunity, they left my garden alone.
Another deterrent is Irish Spring soap. For whatever reason, the scent of the stuff just drives off wildlife. Nothing seems to like that smell. I used to put a whole bar in each bed, but these days I don’t bother. I cut a single bar into six pieces, and slip each piece into the toe of an old sock or stocking. I hang these on posts all about my garden, and it seems to keep pretty much everything away. You have to keep an eye on them, especially after a heavy rain, as they can melt away. The soap doesn’t hurt the garden, however, and it even repels some types of bugs.
Our next deterrent is a fun one, and it works on animals and humans alike, though it’s useless on bugs. An airhorn strung up with a trigger where someone has to pass through to get at your veggies works as one hell of a deterrent. A Jewish friend of ours was having her garage vandalized by young people parading as Nazis, and I suggested this. Not only did the airhorn go off very loudly when they hit the trip line, it caused the miscreants to leave a… shall we say, a DNA deposit behind. Loud, sudden noises are going to both frighten animals and cause humans to leave quickly. It also wakes you up, so that you can deal with problems yourself. Automatic lights can have a similar effect, as it’s very difficult to sneak off with someone’s cabbages if you’re being spotlighted with a million lumens.
Of course the last deterrent is the most effective one, but it requires your personal input: firearms and other weapons. If you catch something in your garden and it’s large enough to shoot, you can shoot it. Be aware of local firearms laws before doing so, and I am not a lawyer and all that jazz. The bottom line is, firearms work. Weapons work. Whatever you hit will not be coming back to raid your garden, ever again.
Quite frankly, though, you’re more likely to run into problems with tomato hornworms than with people. Bugs are all over gardens, and some are beneficial and others are detrimental. It’s up to you to learn which is which. Let me give you a bit of help, though!
As with all other pests, bugs can be trapped, poisoned, or otherwise eliminated. You need to know what works best, though. A good example of a “good idea gone bad” is the hormone scented Japanese beetle traps. They use the pheromones from female Japanese beetles to trap the males. They stop to eat, and fall into a bag, and you toss the bag when it gets full. It’s a good idea, but in practice it simply ends up attracting more Japanese beetles. Ask me how I know. My personal way of dealing with this particular pest is to plant a strip of flowers and greens that they really like, over on the opposite side of the driveway from my vegetable garden. The beetles prefer the food over there, and they leave my garden alone (largely).
For larger bugs like hornworms, simply pick them off and either squish them or feed them to your chickens (if you have any). Most bugs make great food for chickens, by the by. If you end up with a bag full of Japanese beetles, or a spade full of wriggling hornworms, toss them in. I guarantee your chickens will LOVE them, and you’ll end up with richer yolks for it.
If you’re running into a lot of detrimental bugs, you may need to resort to big guns. The two best agents for a true infestation are diatomaceous earth, and insecticidal soap. Diatomaceous earth is a dust (wear a mask while spreading it, please, and use the included puffer, and BE CAREFUL – while it isn’t poisonous to humans at all, it can cause lung irritation if inhaled) which works by gumming up and destroying a bug’s exoskeleton. It’s used by puffing it directly onto plants and the soil below them, and it doesn’t hurt your plant or you (or animals, btw). It washes off easily, so if it rains, you will need to reapply it. Insecticidal soap is a mild, usually non-toxic chemical that is held inside soap molecules. You spray it onto your plants and the bugs, and it causes their waxy outer coating to dissolve, and then they die. There are several brands, but I cannot recommend most of them. The least offensive to me is probably Bonide Insecticidal soap, and it comes pre-mixed. Wear gloves while spraying and avoid getting it on your skin. I am pushy about this – don’t buy anything with the Miracle Gro name on it. They do more harm than good in the average garden, and don’t get me started on what they do to agricultural farms. The good news is, you can make your own soap spray which works almost as good as the chemical stuff. If you’re diligent about using it, it will work to keep down detrimental bugs. To make your own soap spray, get a good quality liquid soap (NOT detergent!!!) like Dr. Bronner’s (peppermint or tea tree is best; avoid lavender) or something similar, and mix one tablespoon of it with a quart of water. Mix gently, and then pour into a spray bottle. Spray wherever you see bugs.
The best thing you can do to protect your garden from all sorts of pests is to be present. If you spend time in your garden every day, even if only 15 minutes or so, you’ll be aware of what’s happening. You can see infestations of bugs and deal with them early. You can rescue tomatoes from hornworms. You can encourage ladybugs to come eat aphids that might otherwise destroy your veggies. Knowing what’s going on with each and every one of your plants is the clear way to know your garden will thrive. Like children, plants need daily attention to grow and do well in life.
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