Blaming The Victim

Many many years ago a judge in Wisconsin ruled that a rapist animal was not guilty because of the clothes that the victim was wearing. He blamed the victim.

“She had it coming!” is no excuse at all. Neither is “He had it coming.” True victims should never take the blame for what happens to them.

Unfortunately there are way to many people that would prefer to push responsibility for their safety onto others. Onto strangers, and I don’t mean law enforcement. They want the responsibility for their safety to rest on the animals and monsters that prowl our world.

The animal that was sexually abusing his step daughters got up in court and told the world that the victims wanted him to do it, that they came on to him. That he was the victim. He’s still the animal. They are not to blame for what was done to them.

The left screams “Teach your boys not to rape women!” As if that wasn’t already happening. My parents taught me that and they didn’t mention the word “rape.” It was “If she says ‘no’ or doesn’t want to then don’t start or stop now.”. She gets to say yes before anything happens. My sons know this rule. But it falls into the same rules for being good men. It isn’t something special.

Unfortunately there are a small number of animals that inflict a great deal of harm in our society. They are looking for victims, they are looking for the weak, they are looking to take without regard to the harm they will do. You can’t teach an animal to be good men. They are past that.

Depending on good men to teach good boys “Don’t rape” is never going to address the animals out there.

The only way to stop an animal that rapes or murders is to put it down or put it in a cage.

But victims are selected. To deny this is to become a potential victim.

When I was at University there were multiple rapists. There was one particular path from the center of campus to the dorms that went through a bit of woods. After the second victim in that area the university started telling all women to avoid that path after dark. The cops increased their patrolling of that area.

And young women wearing pretty clothes would still take that path after dark because it was shorter and faster. They didn’t catch that rapist. Not after the third women he raped. Not after the forth or fifth. The victim count was around eight, reported when the rapes stopped. Winter came, the rapes on that path stopped and didn’t start back in the spring. The cops didn’t catch him.

His victims were trusting in the goodness of good men and delivered themselves to an animal.

My wife knows the Chicago area. When coming back from Wisconsin my GPS (before Miss Google) routed me through the south side of Chicago. I didn’t know any better. Two white women and a white dude in an expensive SUV. It was a bad choice on my part. I should have listened to my wife to be.

I put us in a dangerous place and wasn’t aware of it. I was situationally aware but I should have made the strategic choice to avoid the area instead of being prepared to respond in a tactical way.

If you don’t want to be a victim, don’t act like prey.

Years ago my boss and I were making a run down through DC to his friends business to pick up a cash loan. My boss was not a situationally aware sort of dude. We ran out of gas and barely made it to the off ramp. The way towards the center of town was blocked. We went the other way.

Boss is dressed in loud Hawaiian shirt. I’m being as gray as possible but it is hard with him standing beside me. He is oblivious. I have my head on a swivel. We’re looking for a gas station. We walk past a massive building surrounded with a tall brick fence. With glass embedded on the top. It was a mental hospital.

And all the time he’s jingling his coins in his pocket. He’s practically screaming “Rob us! Rob us!”

We get to a gas station, there are a bunch of teens hanging out there. The attendant is behind bullet proof glass. We buy a gallon of gas from the teens who provide a gallon jug. We get a taxi back to the foot of the off ramp and get the van gassed up. But we don’t have enough gas to get anywhere.

And my boss has gone from scared and nervous to the king of the castle. He decides to go back to the same gas station to get gas. We get there and one of the teens runs up and offers to pump the gas. My boss reaches into his shirt pocket and hads the kid a $100 bill. The kid gives it to the attendant and the kid then pumps the gas. When the tank is full, back when gas cost a $1.50/gal, my boss asks for his change. When he doesn’t get it he wants to get out of the van and make a scene.

My boss was in the process of becoming a victim. He had just flashed real dollars, peeling a $100 off a roll of bills. And he wanted to get out of the van to get his change.

I told him. “Don’t you dare. You aren’t get out of the van. Just drive away and consider this a cheap leason.”

It took me more than an hour to explain to him all of the bad things that were going on as we walked to the station. Of what those teens were doing hanging there. He was oblivious to the danger we were in.

Victims become victims by putting themselves in harms way more often than not.

They are not aware of the situation they put themselves in. They are not aware of the signals they give off. They aren’t aware of the prizes they advertise.

Victim Selection

The next time you are out and about and have the mental cycles to spare, look around you and try and think like a predator. Look for the victim. You will find them. It isn’t hard.

Victim selection starts with location. You are looking for somebody that is in an isolated place or where they can be taken into an isolated place.

You are looking for a place where the crime can be done and not interrupted.

Once you’ve found the location you are looking for your victim. You are looking for somebody that looks like prey. Their head is down, not paying attention. They are drawn in on themselves. Or they are so invested in what’s on their phone they have no situational awareness.

You are looking for a victim that has what you want. That could be a big wallet or it could be a pretty woman or a child.

Mostly you are looking for a victim that isn’t going to know you are upon them until it is to late and who is unlikely to respond in any meaningful way.

Don’t Be Prey

If you are a woman, keep your head up and out of your phone if you are walking. Know what is happening around you. Avoid dangerous places and dangerous groups. It is better to be jeered at for crossing the road than to try and walk through a gang of strangers.

Make your moves early. Don’t look at your feet. Don’t just look a few yards in front of you. Know what is happening in the next 100 yards. Change your path if you need to before you are near. Don’t make it look like you just noticed and are moving in fear. Move with a purpose and make your choices early.

Make a plan and keep updating it. If they cross the street I’m going to go into that store. Ok, I’m coming up on that store and they haven’t crossed the street, if they cross I’ll go into that store just up there.

Keep a plan running at all times. Make your decisions before the trigger happens. Don’t be surprised. You’ve already made the decision before it happened so you don’t have to decide now. ACT on your plan.

Don’t advertise your valuables. As a women you are valuable to animals in three ways. The goods, the valuables you have with you. They fun/pleasure of rape. The value of you as a sex slave.

Don’t advertise your valuables! If you are going the the symphony and are dressed up, don’t park a half mile away in the skeeze side street and start walking with your diamond bracelet and pearls glinting in the street light in your $300 dollar shoes. Yes you are safe to advertise in the safety of the symphony, but that safety evaporates if you move into a bad location.

If you are going partying and are going out in your pretty black dress, go for it! Don’t sneak out into the back alley for a smoke where it is dark and isolated. And certainly don’t do it if you are under the influence of anything.

Don’t advertise where you are going to be. If somebody is looking for you, don’t tell them where you are or where you are going to be. Remember that sharing something with your 1000 closes friends on FB is the same as telling all your enemies as well.

There is a difference between telling your FB friends “We’re going to go partying when my BFF gets some time off!” and “BFF and I are in the Uber on the way to Club Rohypnol! See you all there!”

Dudes, this might be hard to hear but you can be victims too. We all can. Everything I said above applies to us to. You shouldn’t be flashing your roll of hundreds. Stay out of skeeze locations. Be prepared to pay for safer parking. Keep your head on a swivel. Have a plan that is being updated constantly. Make your choices before you have to make a decision.

Be safe!

What would you add as advise to people that insist on being prey?