Be Gentle With Me…

Allyson walks to the podium at the head of the crowded room and looks at everyone. She straightens her tank top unnecessarily, shuffles her feet a bit, and then leans against the podium and adjusts the microphone.
Hi. My name is Allyson, and I’m a new Conservative.
Hi, Allyson!
The past few days have really changed my mind on a number of subjects. I’m still not a huge Trump fan, but after watching what happened on Saturday, many of my previous concerns have waned. I’ve been reading and educating myself, listening to others, and generally trying to get a better grip on the whole political situation going on. I’ve taken another step to the Right, and while I still consider myself a “small L libertarian,” I think that by society’s standards, I’m now a Conservative.
This is going to be a real ramble of a blog entry, so bear with me. Please.
That puts me in a weird place. I feel like I can’t tell my friends. I haven’t been able to talk politics with them in ages, but it’s been a relatively comfortable silence on both parts. But this? I can’t tell them I’m “on the Trump train.” I’d be ostracized. And yes, I know how that sounds, and yes, that’s part of why I took the step to the Right.
I’m going to say this now, because I have to. I have watched the videos of the assassination attempt a good 40 or 50 times. I’ve looked at different angles, read experts’ opinions, and done my best to do due diligence. The timing and way this played out FEELS too convenient and too well done, and I am absolutely terrified that this was a fake out by Trump and/or his team. My thinking brain tells me that no one, not even the most brash person ever, would have a live bullet come that close to their head on purpose. But my lizard brain is still concerned that somehow, this was just a fake out.
A lot of people have changed their mind about Trump because of Saturday’s attempt on his life. I desperately hope that everything I saw was real (not that I wanted an attempt on his life, but just that the situation as presented is real). If it turns out to be some kind of fake out, I suspect I’ll just walk away entirely and stop dealing with politics. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.