There are some things Chris wants me to write, and I will get there probably, but not this week. This week is “getting the finances up to date,” put up the tree, put up the lights, clean up the living room of Friendsgiving stuff, do all the laundry associated with Friendsgiving (hint: it’s a lot), dishes upon dishes… You get the idea.
Chris talked about his version of Friendsgiving, and I wanted to throw my two cents in. Well, maybe more like $0.25, but anyhow… 😉
Years ago, when I still lived with my parents and was not yet adult, Thanksgiving was both a joy and a horror. My mother, bless her heart (said in Ally’s most southern ma’am voice, thick with sarcasm), was an abusive and alcoholic soul, and she made every holiday miserable. But I got to see my Hungarian grandparents, which was almost always a happy thing. As with all things that involved my mother in any way, it was very complicated.
We would wake up early, and my mother would be resentful and angry about it. These days, I realize it’s because she was likely hung over, but I don’t know that for certain. In any case, we would have a light breakfast which my father would make (my mother generally didn’t cook), and then we’d get dressed in our nice clothes and go on the two hour car ride out to my Nagymama and Nagyapa’s house. The times it was just myself and my father were nice. We had things to talk about, music we could share, and it was generally pretty chill. With my mother there, it meant we played what she wanted to listen to, and we didn’t talk much because it bothered her, and you really didn’t want to bother her.
We’d arrive at my grandparents’ house about noon or 1pm, and the turkey would just be coming out of the oven. Nagymama would always cook a massive turkey, 20+ lbs every time (in fact I didn’t know they came smaller than that until well into my adulthood!), and stuffed to the breaking point. My father would carve it up, my mother would set the table (something she was good at, thank heavens), and I would help organize the platters of food. Nagymama would bring out a big pot of turkey neck soup with perfectly clear broth (always simmered, never boiled) with homemade noodles, bits of fresh turkey meat, and a single large carrot in the center of each person’s bowl which you had to cut up with your knife. We would enjoy our soup, and then Nagymama was up again, bringing in platters upon platters of food.
She’d grown up in Hungary, in Mezőkövesd (mezo kovesh-d), which sits nestled in the shadows of the Carpathian Mountains. They were just south of Poland by about 40 to 50 miles, as the crow flies, but the mountains were in the way. My Nagyapa had been drafted into the Russian army at gunpoint during WWII, and escaped when his squad was slaughtered by the Allies. He lay under piles of his dead comrades until everyone left, then crawled out and walked some 400 or more miles home. He only ever talked about it once, and after that he’d just pat my hand and tell me “Nem bántsad,” or “Nem zavar.” They had nothing for a very, very long time. When they came to the new world, they came with a handful of photographs, two sets of clothing, their son (my father), and hope. They turned that hope into a tobacco farm, which turned into big money. They were hardly millionaires, but they were vastly comfortable.
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