Mad scream. Angry man. Conflict person. Aggression neurosis. Double exposure of furious male silhouette coated in red hot lava isolated on white background.

The Politics of Hate

Watching a woman rant about how the only “right” thing to do is to cut her parents out of her life because they don’t have her political views made me sick. It made me miss my parents all over again.

More than anything else the left has done to my country, the unending hate dividing families is the most evil. It seems to flow in only one direction, from the left against the right.

My parents were right leaning until late in their lives. They drank the Obama Kool-Aid and were lost. They talked about the Republican candidates as evil, horrible people. The only “news” they watched was CNN.

During Trump’s first term, it got even worse. It was a constant repeat of CNN talking points and hating on Trump.

I quickly learned to keep my opinions to myself in political areas. I loved my parents. Their political stance did not change that, nor did it split them from me.

My wife has been fighting this for longer than I have. Since her father passed, most of the family older than her have gone full TDS. She doesn’t express her opinion.

Because I am who I am, I don’t need to talk to my friends every day. A year can go by, and then we are together as if it was only yesterday. One of my friends, and Ally’s best friend, contracted TDS during Trump’s first term.

We continued to be “friends,” but couldn’t talk freely around her because of the hate that spewed from her when anything Trump was mentioned. The reason she became a Trump hater was because of Dobbs. According to her, her reproductive care had been stripped from her and her daughters.

The state laws didn’t change. Her access to abortion hadn’t changed. Her daughters’ access to abortion hadn’t changed. She is postmenopausal, so she can’t get pregnant. Her eldest daughter is married and busy making babies. Her youngest isn’t sexually active with men.

For her, the issue was that if her daughter was raped, and if her daughter conceived, and if her daughter wanted an abortion, and if her daughter lived in a state that had banned abortions for rape survivors, her daughter would have to leave that state to get an abortion. Because the Supreme Court ruled that abortion was a state issue, it was Trump’s fault for putting his pick of Justices on The Court.

After Trump was elected to his second term, she posted that if you voted for Trump, she couldn’t be friends with you. She has been written off. Not because she has TDS, but because she kicked us to the curb for not agreeing with her political views.

I’m watching postings from people in New Hampshire on local groups. Everything “bad” is Trump’s fault. The school system’s business administrator appears to be responsible for the school system being short more than $5 million. It’s Trump and the MAGAot’s fault for not wanting to fund schools.

It is MAGA’s fault for electing a Republican governor. Nobody bothers to notice that the elected school board, which oversees the business administrator, were all elected by them. And they all appear to be Democrats.

But the blame goes to the Republicans.

If you are anti-gun, I don’t hate you. If you want to take my rights away, then I will fight you. Hate requires too much energy to engage in. Yet it seems to drive the left.

There was a church shooting. As soon as the media reported it, the left started yelling it was MAGAots. They blamed me and you because we own guns. And they hate on us.

I’m reading The Red Badge of Courage with one of my ESL students. The civil war pitted brother against brother, father against son, neighbor against neighbor, but the level of hate for family and friends didn’t seem to be there. Yes, soldiers and civilians were disgusted by the other team, but I haven’t read about brothers disowning each other because of the side they chose.

And the left continues the battle to fill our lives with hate. They keep telling us who to hate, and the left listens and falls in line.

 

The Weekly Feast – Cabbage and Beef Soup

Happy September!!!

We’re doing our best to eat healthy around here, but we also want food that tastes good. I love soup (hubby not so much, but oh well), and with the cooler weather arriving, I plan on making a lot of soups. You can pack a ton of flavor into soup that is almost calorie free, where making the “regular” version of it would blow your diet to smithereens. So soup, here I come! This one tastes sort of like the innards of a lasagna, honestly.

Ingredients:

  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 large onion (finely chopped)
  • 2 cloves garlic (minced)
  • 1 lb lean ground beef
  • Salt and black pepper (to taste)
  • 14 oz can chopped tomatoes
  • 6 cups shredded cabbage
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • ½ tsp oregano
  • ½ tsp thyme
  • 1 bay leaf
  • 5 cups beef broth
  • Parsley (chopped)

Pre-heat a soup pot to medium-high heat and add the olive oil. Add in the chopped onion and cook for 2-3 minutes until they have slightly softened. Add in the garlic and let it cook for about 30 seconds, or until fragrant. then, add the ground beef, salt, and black pepper. Cook for 7-8 minutes, breaking the meat apart with a spatula.

Add in the chopped tomatoes, shredded cabbage, paprika, garlic, onion powder, oregano, thyme and bay leaf. Mix it all together very well. Pour in the beef broth, stir it, and let it simmer for 25 minutes or so until the cabbage fully cooks. A little longer is okay, as this stuff only tastes better as time goes on.

Season with salt and black pepper to taste. Garnish with parsley before serving.

Notes:

I put shredded cheese on the table to add some fat, because this soup does NOT have a lot of it. I did drain the ground beef before moving on with the recipe. You could add a dollop of cream cheese to this, or some spicy peppers, and it would still be good. If you switched out the tomatoes for one of those 14 oz cans of tomatoes and green chilies you can get in the Mexican aisle, then topped it with tortilla strips, you’d have Mexican tortilla soup. All I know is this stuff was delish, a huge bowl of it is only about 300 calories (if made as written), and maybe not even that much.

A hand holds a checklist labeled PLAN against a bright blue background, surrounded by colorful gears, symbolizing the importance of planning in projects.

Too Many Projects

The project list keeps growing.

  • Mud the hallway so the wife can paint it after it’s been stripped to the drywall (and then some).
  • Finish building the joiner’s chest. This has subprojects:
    • Finish planing the first end to thickness and avoid knots in the future.
    • Sharpen the plane irons for the new planes
    • Finish smoothing and jointing the boards on hand to create the top, front, back, and other side.
      • Repair the broken saw handle.
      • Take the handle off the saw panel.
      • Clean the saw panel.
      • Sharpen the saw.
      • Preserve the saw.
      • Reattach the handle.
      • Repeat for the crosscut saw.
    • Get the rest of the lumber needed
    • Finish the required sides and top.
    • Smooth and plane to thickness the bottom boards.
    • Rabbet the bottom boards (learn how to cut nice rabbets.
  • Fill the joiner’s chest in an organized way.
  • Build a new 6 board chest for Ally to use in reenacting.
  • Build a couple of stools.
  • Create a new nut and screw for the leg vise at the Fort.
  • Install and configure a new Ceph node to replace an existing node.
  • Upgrade the Ceph cluster.
  • Build, populate, and configure a new Ceph server.
  • Make the new “managed” switch do switching stuff.
  • Move the current switch from the internal net to the DMZ
  • Loose more weight
  • Exercise more.

 

Boring, but it just keeps growing, and after my wife reads it, I expect her to add to it.

 

Construction and structure concept planning of Engineer or architect meeting for project working with partner and engineering on model building and blueprint in working site.

Enginerding

My father had degrees in engineering, something military, and business. He was also a carpenter, electrician, and cabinet and fine furniture maker.

I learned to look at things from watching him work.

At University, I was a teaching assistant (TA). We graded papers and programs, taught labs, and sometimes presented lectures.

This was a great way to learn, and I loved doing it. I still love teaching.

One of the computer science professors started in the psychology department. Since computers were relatively new, he became interested in them as a psychology problem. To that end, he wrote a textbook about programming. He then requested and was assigned to teaching CPS300 FORTRAN for Engineers.

This was a large lecture hall with around 300 to 400 students in it. Labs were taught by TAs.

His big thing was flow charting. Everybody loved flowcharts at that time. And he had some of the most beautiful flowcharts I’ve ever seen.

Mostly because he was using Nassi-Shneiderman Digrams. These things show program structure clearly, making it trivial to verify the correct functioning of the flowchart.

The problem with them is that they are almost impossible to modify. You didn’t so much modify them as rewrite them.

As engineering students, we were taught piecewise progression. You know where you are, you have an idea of where you want to be, so you take a step in that direction. Verify that the step got you closer; iterate until you are there.

If it becomes impossible to proceed, you backtrack and try again until you reach your goal.

Professor Hans Lee wasn’t an engineer. He was a psychology dude. About a third of the way through the first term working with him, I had a private conversation with him. The gist of the conversation was, “How do you write programs? What do you do when your program doesn’t work?”

His answer was that he visualizes the complete Nassi-Shneiderman, draws it out, and then translates that into code. And if the program doesn’t work, he “throws that design out” and creates a new version.

I had to explain to him that his students were not creating the flowcharts first; they were using the flowcharts to document the code they had already written and proven out. And that as engineers, they were all taught a piecewise problem solving method. His methods might work for the general student body, but for engineers it was a bad fit.

This was the first time I actually vocalized a part of being an engineer actually means.

One of the things I do at The Fort is “fixing” things. Here’s the problem with that: many of the things that exist at the fort don’t have Google pages telling you how to use them. They certainly don’t have IKEA instruction manuals on how to put them together. And many of them are broken, repaired badly, or missing parts.

So I look at things and figure out how they go together and how they work. For me, it just makes sense that tab A goes into slot A. I have been told that most people can’t identify “slot A” or “tab A,” much less that the two go together.

This played out last weekend when I stopped at The Fort; they had a newly donated great wheel plus some parts to go with it. I went over to give it the once-over to determine its condition and what we would need to do to get it back in production.

The answer seems to be replacing two leather axel holders, two leather adjuster holders and putting new drive string on.

The thing that happened, was that as I looked at the wheel and parts, it was obvious to me how the pieces should align. But the kicker in fitting two pieces together was a notch in one of the pieces.

The first rule is that any cut or extra work was done for a reason. The spokes are turned down for a reason: to make the wheel more responsive. The little grooves are for beauty.

Given that rule, why is there a notch cut in that part? What does it do? Some craftsman spent the time to put the notch there. Why are those risers threaded? Making a threaded hole in wood and the matching screw is extra work.

Why is the axle bearing for this part in a separate peg instead of being a part of the riser?

Each of these questions leads to only one answer.

The notch is so that the spindle drive pulley has enough room to run freely. The riser posts are threaded to be able to adjust the tension on the drive string. The separate pegs to hold the axle bearings (holes in the pegs) are so that they rest on top of the risers and the risers can be adjusted.

It all makes perfect sense, once you know what to look for.

Politics And Engineering

When something happens, politicians want to be seen addressing the problem, right now, in very public view. The issue is often that they have no idea what the problem or issue actually is. Instead, they have feelings about what the cause of the issue is.

So they propose a change. What they don’t do is look at what the possible results might be. Instead they focus on what they want the results to be, becoming blind to potential failure or, at best, a waste of taxpayer money.

The problem with most bills is that they are experiments with our freedoms, our livelihood, and our search for happiness. They never seem to have a plan for what to do if their experiment fails. Or if they do, it is mostly “throw more money at it.”

Friday feedback banner, a man with a phone writing reviews

Friday Feedback (On Saturday)

Church Shooting

Miggy nailed it, again. This was a church shooting, not a school shooting.

If I recall correctly, many or most Catholic churches are anti-gun and mark their churches as “gun-free zones.”

This may or may not have the force of law.

But if you have a school attached to the church, then you are suddenly covered under the gun-free schools regulations.

Favorite Anti-Gunner Stupid of the Day

The mayor of the city where the shooting took place got on national TV to explain that guns are bad.

In one paragraph he told us, “Don’t paint all trans as evil because of this incident; the problem is all gun owners who refuse…”

It really was one single breath.

Network Stuff

I know you guys are tired of this. Yesterday I got my virtual network put back together. I finally found the magic document that told me what to do where.

The really cool thing is that once I had that magic, it was trivial to copy it to the different nodes to bring them into the “cloud.”

Ironic

This is a component of OpenStack. It is the tool I was expecting to use to get my network functional again. I haven’t figured it out yet.

The issue is that Ironic is too much. It requires a Baseboard Management Controller (BMC). A BMC is an embedded computer and OS in a server. You connect the BMC to a network, generally referred to as the management network, to gain access to the server hardware.

From the BMC, you can change BIOS settings, initiate power down and reset functions, and access the hardware for configuration purposes. Some even include KVM capabilities.

This is such a useful feature that most “real” servers come with them. Ironic has a couple of dozen drivers designed to work with them.

What it doesn’t have is any way to work with a computer without a BMC. There is an SNMP driver, but it is just for UPSs. I might play with it to get new boxes provisioned.

Maybe somebody has a fake IPMI implementation that runs under the actual OS.

Ceph is up?

I have 3 nodes that are not back up, plus the one node that was taken out of service. I’ll work on those two nodes today, but I also have to do honey-do jobs.

Question of the Week

This latest church shooting feels different. I can find the shooter’s name, but his name isn’t being dropped every other breath by news people.

Normally we are so cowed that we just “offer thoughts and prayers.” but this time we are still praying for those that were killed and injured as well as for those emotionally hurt by the shooter. Parents and such. The difference is that when there is that push for gun bans, there has been pushback at higher levels.

It also feels like we are getting more support from the top of the political party.

Does this terroristic act feel the same as the last shootings?

A Daily Dump – The Minneapolis Shooter

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2025/08/29/minneapolis-shooters-mother-is-not-cooperating-with-police-n2662502

https://sarahwestall.substack.com/p/minneapolis-shooter-manifesto-and

https://www.westernjournal.com/catholic-school-shooters-uncle-ex-lawmaker-fought-bans-transgender-procedures-kids/

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/investigators-say-no-red-flags-raised-minneapolis-church-shooter-rcna227856

https://scallywagandvagabond.com/2025/08/annunciation-church-shooter-lived-with-parents-james-and-mary-grance-westman-who-signed-off-on-gender-change/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iqdI0XQRj0

< democrat spin >
It’a all Trump’s fault – If he had just been civil, and not outlawed transgender, transgender migration of minor children, and  . . . well everything – none of this would have happened.
< /democrat spin >

Democrat Minneapolis Police Chief Repeats Lie That They Have “No Motive” Despite WRITING HIS MOTIVE ON GUNS and Leaving MANIFESTO
https://gellerreport.com/2025/08/transterrorist-no-motive.html/?lctg=92233992

Minnesota Trans Shooter’s ‘Affirming’ Mother Goes Dark, Refuses to Cooperate With Authorities
https://redstate.com/bonchie/2025/08/29/new-minnesota-trans-shooters-mother-clams-up-refuses-to-cooperate-with-authorities-n2193360

Catholic School Shooter’s Uncle Is Ex-Lawmaker Who Fought Bans on Transgender Procedures for Kids
https://www.westernjournal.com/catholic-school-shooters-uncle-ex-lawmaker-fought-bans-transgender-procedures-kids/

As Minneapolis Shooter’s Mother Refuses to Cooperate With Police, We’ve Learned This New Detail

It was not a School Shooting
https://miguelgg.substack.com/p/it-was-not-a-school-shooting

https://www.kunstler.com/p/the-war-on-reality-is-over

“Avoid crowds – Get Out of the Cities. – NOW.  A year too soon is better than a day too late” – John Wilder @  https://wilderwealthywise.com/
“God created all men, but Samuel Colt made them equal.” – Unknown
“A Smith & Wesson does more for empowering women than Feminism ever could” – Greg Gutfeld 29 Jul 2017
Don’t Do: stupid sh*t, with stupid people, in stupid places, at stupid times. – paraphrasing John Farnam, firearms instructor
“An armed society is a polite society” – Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.” ― Robert A. Heinlein
“People sleep peaceably in their bed at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” – Eric Arthur Blair (AKA – George Orwell)
“If your plan is to come to my house when things get bad, you need a better plan”- like being invited, having a useful skill, bringing food, or ammunition – jlr76380
“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero” – https://www.zerohedge.com/

Prepping – Do-Something-Itis

One of the ways I go about criticizing a suggested government program or change in law is to simply ask questions of the proponent. Things like, “explain to me in very simple terms why you think this program will work?” And “what evidence is there that this proposed government program or change in law will make things better?” Through a series of questions, I can usually expose the flawed assumptions behind the proposals, peeling back the onion and get to the core rationale of most of these ideas, where an exasperated policymaker throws up their hands and says, “well, Paul, we have to do something.” And there it is.Paul T. Martin

It’s an interesting point of view. I’m watching a local community melt down because the school system screwed up in a big way and is $5mil in the hole. They all want someone to DO SOMETHING!!! Except that there’s very little to do, and it must be done in a very orderly fashion. In other words, they ARE doing something. They’re just not doing it at the speed the people in the community want.

There was a shooting. Now everyone wants guns banned (again) to “stop school shootings.” Except it wasn’t a school shooting, it was a church shooting, and the people calling for disarmament are people who don’t have any skin in the game (ie they have no guns)… and the shooter was part of THEIR community, not ours. But it doesn’t matter, someone has to DO SOMETHING!!!

This happens all around us. People assume that because we have information (true and otherwise) at the tip of our fingers, that a) it’s true, and b) we can act at the same speed as we can research. Both those points are incorrect. Between general lack of knowledge and the influx of deepfakes and AI writing, telling truth from fiction is difficult right now. And we cannot possibly act at the speed at which we’re reading. Not only is it physically impossible, it’s also stupid, because we have to take time to figure out what the right thing is to do.

I often find myself asking, what would they have done in the 15th century? the 18th century? the 40s? the 80s? I ask myself this because there’s this assumption that we now know better than we did in the past (not entirely inaccurate, I might add), but we can only put that into practice if we look at today’s problems as a reflection of the past. For instance, there may be many ways to handle the local school problem(s), and they are REAL problems, but rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off does nothing. The folks that are pausing to regroup, to find out where the mistakes were made, are harkening back to the 40s IMO. What happened? How did it get so bad? What are the three most likely successful paths forward? Of those three, which would the public prefer us to take, and why? THAT is how one moves forward with stuff like this, because “the public” doesn’t have a clue as to how this stuff works. Right now they’re crowing happily over their only competent board member choosing to resign, because “it’ll save them money!” That means the bulk of them don’t know that board members don’t get paid. That’s … a good example of why the current mess happened.

“Those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it.” This quotation is often attributed to the philosopher George Santayana, but it’s actually a misquotation. The actual quote is, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” The misquote assumes people learned the history in the first place. In today’s world, I suspect it’s assumed people didn’t learn history, or at least not truthful, accurate history.

What can people do when things like this happen? When a community melts down over something (real or imagined) there really isn’t much to do. You can throw your two cents in, but unless you’ve got special traction, it’ll likely fall on deaf ears. What you can do is hunker down, check your perimeter, and keep your head on a swivel. If you’ve got kids in the mix, move ’em somewhere else. Yes, that might mean schooling them at home (though at least in NH, that doesn’t mean you’re on your own, because VLACS is pretty bad ass, and I’m sure that other states have similar programs). It might mean tough times. Guess what? That’s life.

And therein is the difference between “them” and “us.” They will cry and scream and have temper tantrums, lay blame, point fingers… and do nothing. We will go in with possible solutions, and if the public solution doesn’t work, we’ll move on to the private one where we take care of our own. It doesn’t matter if it’s tough. It doesn’t matter if it strains us. We’ll do what’s right by ourselves and our kids, BECAUSE it’s right. And that’s enough to motivate us.

Learning new things

Another deranged asshole killed children at a school. 2 dead, 17 wounded. Nationwide headlines. The blood vultures leap to blame me for a shooting that took place more than a 1000 miles awy.

Meanwhile, CBS News is running a headline on August 28, 2025: “6 dead, 27 hurt in Chicago weekend shootings, police say.”
6 dead, 27 hurt in Chicago weekend shootings, police say

I would rather not deal with it today.

OpenStack

Over the last month, I’ve been dealing with somebody who has not kept up with the technology he is using. It shows. I like to learn new things.

For the last two years I’ve been working with two major technologies. Ceph and Open Virtual Networks. Ceph I feel I have a working handle on. Right now my Ceph cluster is down because of network issues, which I did to myself. OVN is another issue entirely.

A group of people smarter than I looked at networking and decided that instead of doing table lookups and then making decisions based on tables, they would create a language for manipulating the flow of packets, called “OpenFlow.”

This language could be implemented on hardware, creating very fast network devices. Since OpenFlow is a language, you can write routing functions as well as switching functions into the flows. You can also use it to create virtual devices.

The two types of virtual devices are “bridges” and “ports.” Ports are attached to bridges. OpenFlow processes a packet received on a port, called ingress, to move the packet to the egress port. There is lots going on in the process, but that is the gist.

The process isn’t impossible to do manually, but it isn’t simple, and it isn’t easy to visualize.

OVN adds virtual devices to the mix, allowing for simpler definitions and more familiar operations.

With OVN you create switches, routers, and ports. A port is created on a switch or router, then attached to something else. That something else can be virtual machines, physical machines, or the other side of a switch-router pair.

This is handled in the Northbound (NB) database. You modify the NB DB, which is then translated into a more robust flow language, which is stored in the Southbound (SB) database. This is done with the “ovn-north” process. This process keeps the two databases in sync with each other. Modifications to the NB DB are propagated into the SB DB and vice versa.

All of this does nothing for your actual networking. It is trivial to build all of this and have it “work.”

The thing that has to happen is that the SB database has to connect to the OpenvSwitch (OVS) database. This is accomplished via ovn-controller.

When you introduce changes to the OVS database, they are propagated into the SB database. In the same way, changes to the SB database cause changes to the OVS database.

When the OVS database is modified, new OpenFlow programs are created, changing the processing of packets.

To centralize the process, you can add the address of a remote OVN database server to the OVS database. The OVN processes read this and self-configure. From the configuration, they can talk to the remote database to create the proper OVS changes.

I had this working until one of the OVN control nodes took a dump. It took a dump for reasons, most of which revolved around my stupidity.

Because the cluster is designed to be self-healing and resilient, I had not noticed when two of the three OVN database servers stopped doing their thing. When I took that last node down, my configuration was stopped.

I could bring it back to life, but I’m not sure whether it is worth the time.

Now here’s the thing: everything I just explained comes from two or three very out-of-date web pages that haven’t been updated in many years. They were written to others with some understanding of the OVS/OVN systems. And they make assumptions and simplifications.

The rest of the information comes from digging things out of OpenStack’s networking component, Neutron.

I have a choice: I can continue down the path I am currently using, or I can learn OpenStack.

I choose to learn OpenStack.

First, it is powerful. With great power comes an even greater chance to mess things up. There are configuration files that are hundreds of lines long.

There are four components that I think I understand. The identity manager, Keystone. This is where you create and store user credentials and roles. The next is the storage component, Glance. This is where your disk images and volumes are accessed. Then there is the compute component, named Nova, which handles building and configuring virtual machines. Finally there is the networking component, called neutron.

For the simple things, I actually feel like I have it mostly working.

But the big thing is to get OVN working across my Ceph nodes. That hasn’t happened.

So for today, I’ll dig and dig some more, until I’m good at this.

Then I’ll add another technology to my skill set.

FBEL – Tech and Kids (and Adults)

Found on the book of faces:

There is a silent tragedy unfolding in our homes today, and it concerns our most precious jewels: our children. Our children are in a devastating emotional state!. Over the past 15 years, researchers have gifted us increasingly alarming statistics about an acute and steady increase in childhood mental illness that is now reaching epidemic proportions:
The statistics don’t lie:
  • 1 in 5 children has mental health problems
  • A 43% increase in ADHD has been noticed
  • A 37% increase in teenage depression has been noticed
  • A 200% increase in the suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14 has been noticed
What is going on and what are we doing wrong? Children today are being over-stimulated and over-gifted with material objects, but are deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:
  • Emotionally available parents
  • Clearly Defined Boundaries
  • Responsibilities
  • Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
  • Movement in general but especially outdoors
  • Creative play, social interaction, unstructured play opportunities and spaces for boredom
On the other hand, these last few years have been filled with children of:
  • Digitally Distracted Parents
  • Forgiving and permissive parents who let children “rule the world” and be the ones who make the rules
  • A sense of entitlement, of deserving everything without earning it or being responsible for getting it
  • Poor sleep and unbalanced nutrition
  • A sedentary lifestyle
  • Endless stimulation, technological nannies, instant gratification and absence of dull moments
What to do? If we want our children to be happy and healthy individuals, we need to wake up and get back to the basics. It’s still possible! Many families see immediate improvement after weeks of implementing the following recommendations:
  • Set limits and remember that you are the captain of the ship. Your kids will feel safer knowing you have the control of the helm.
  • Offer children a balanced lifestyle full of what children NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “no” to your kids if what they want isn’t what they need.
  • Provide nutritious food and limit junk food.
  • Spend at least one hour a day outdoors doing activities such as: cycling, hiking, fishing, bird/insect watching
  • Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or technology distracting them.
  • Play board games as a family or if the children are too young for board games, let them lead their interests and let them be the ones who rule the game
  • Involve your children in some task or household chores according to their age (folding clothes, sorting toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table, feeding the dog, etc. )
  • Implement a consistent sleep routine to ensure your child gets enough sleep. The timetables will be even more important for school-age children.
  • Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t overprotect them against any frustration or any mistake. Making mistakes will help you develop resilience and learn to overcome life’s challenges,
  • Do not carry your children’s backpack, do not take their backpacks, do not take them the homework they forgot, do not peel their bananas or oranges if they can do it by themselves (4-5 years). Instead of giving them the fish, teach them how to fish.
  • Teach them to wait and delay gratification.
  • Provide opportunities for “boredom”, because boredom is the moment when creativity awakens. Doesn’t feel responsible for always keeping the kids entertained.
  • Do not use technology as a cure for boredom, nor offer it to the first second of inactivity.
  • Avoid the use of technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, shopping centers. Use these moments as opportunities to socialize by training the brains to know how to function when they are in the mood: “boredom”
  • Help them create a “jar of boredom” with activity ideas for when they are bored.
  • Be emotionally available to connect with children and teach them self-regulation and social skills:
  • Turn off phones at night when kids have to go to bed to avoid digital distraction.
  • Become an emotional regulator or coach for your children. Teach them to acknowledge and manage their own frustrations and anger.
  • Teach them to greet, to take turns, to share without anything, to say thank you and please, to acknowledge the mistake and apologize (don’t force them), be a model of all those values you instill.
  • Connect emotionally – smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, play or crawl with them.
The original article can be found on SchoolSpeak (it’s a PDF).

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